Although it is important to talk to peers or parents if you need help, it is equally important to know who is giving you advice. In order to gather effective advice, as well as answers to questions that are relevant to young people, we consulted with Denisa Čordalija, a school pedagogue-psychologist in the International Baccalaureate program at the Second Gymnasium. After graduating from the Department of Pedagogy-Psychology at the Faculty of Philosophy, University of Tuzla, she worked as a psychologist at the Center for the Rehabilitation of Psychoactive Substance Addicts in Lukavac, as well as a pedagogue-psychologist at the Tušanj Primary School in Tuzla. Since 2019, she has also been working as a professor of Medical Psychology at the Center for Adult Education "Nova Zanimanja" in Sarajevo. Pedagogue Denisa answered our topical questions about mental health as it relates to young people.
How to deal with stress caused by a wide range of school obligations? Does such stress have a lasting impact on the mental and physical health of students?
Stress related to fulfilment of obligations, whether they are school-related, extracurricular, or work-related in adulthood, is impossible to avoid, but we can fight it by organizing them according to priorities and the time each of us has available.
When creating plans, it is good to use daily, weekly, and monthly planners that we can purchase at bookstores or be creative and make our own planner. We also have the option of various computer applications or mobile applications on phones. Planners should be visible and accessible so that tasks and duties can be regularly tracked. They are usually placed on our desk or above it if we opt for the purchasing option or personally created version. It is good to use bright colors according to our own choice so that the most important deadlines catch our attention. The tasks/obligations we set for ourselves can be like small goals that we need to achieve. Every time we achieve one of the set goals, the moment we remove them from the list can have a positive effect that we have achieved something, our mood improves, and we gain additional motivation and self-confidence to continue achieving our small daily goals.
In addition to the schedule, we should pay attention to the biorhythm (biorhythm is closely related to our biological clock; the biological clock is the place where the body initiates a certain time frame due to changes in the intensity of light, which is associated with the change of day) and establish a healthy and necessary sleep and regular meal time (breakfast, lunch, and dinner with smaller snacks) that contains all the necessary nutrients, especially when it comes to adolescents who are in the development period. Nutrition and sleep affect the level of energy and concentration needed for intellectual work. It is very important when creating daily, weekly, and monthly plans to plan free time: time for rest, time for hobbies, and time for socializing with family and friends. When planning time for studying, attention should be paid to include breaks between tasks or parts of tasks so that, for example, after 30 minutes of efficient learning, a break of at least 10 minutes is taken for an activity that relaxes us, such as listening to music or short stretching exercises.
It's important to stick to our own schedule – this way we can have time to fulfil our obligations, in addition to having free time.
How to avoid concerns about body image and establish a healthy relationship with food and a positive body image? What advice would you give to students who suffer from serious illnesses such as anorexia and bulimia?
Body image refers to the way we see our body in the mirror and in pictures, and the feelings that this image evokes in us. Just thinking about our body can make us feel comfortable or uncomfortable, depending on what this image of our body evokes in us. These thoughts and feelings are changeable and subjective, meaning that other people may perceive our body in a completely different way. Body image has two main components: perception and the view of physical appearance. Various historical, cultural, social, individual, and biological factors have had different influences on body image over different periods.
For example, the cultural ideal in some societies conveys the message that women should have a lean body, so women who do not fit into such an ideal may react to such a message by condemning themselves as fat. Expectations can also affect weight estimation, so a person who thinks they consume a lot of calories may overestimate their body weight. The way a person feels in their body is also associated with body image: if a person feels good in their body, this is associated with a more positive image of it. On the other hand, people who have eating disorders can have a significantly disturbed image of their body.
Anyone can have a positive or negative body image. However, in some people, this image can be so distorted that it becomes part of a psychological disorder. This usually occurs in eating disorders and somatoform disorders. Body dysmorphic disorder involves preoccupation with an imagined defect in physical appearance that is not noticeable or only slightly noticeable to others. Preoccupations are usually focused on the face or head (e.g., a scar on the face or a large nose), but can include any other part of the body. On the other hand, people with eating disorders are generally preoccupied with weight and body shape, where physical defects are not necessarily imaginary, but are usually exaggerated.
How to improve body image?
Try to be grateful for what your body can do rather than being critical of your physical appearance. There are two types of body image: functional and aesthetic. When we focus on aesthetics, i.e., on outward appearance, we are much more likely to be dissatisfied because the ideals we set for ourselves are often too strict and unattainable. When we look at the body focusing on what it can do and what we can achieve with it, we build a healthier body image because we feel grateful for what we can do and are motivated to work on our health, strength, and abilities. Instead of negative thoughts that our legs are "too fat," for example, let's focus on the fact that they allow us to walk, run, swim, dance (mindfulness exercises that promote gratitude for our body are useful).
Work on accepting and loving your body just as it is. Instead of focusing on perceived physical flaws, accept them as just one part of your valuable and unique body. None of us is perfect and we all have some part of our body that we're not completely satisfied with, but that doesn't make us any less valuable.
Let your definition of beauty be the way you feel about your physical appearance, not culturally defined beauty standards such as a thin body for women or a muscular body for men. Beauty standards change from year to year and depend on current trends. What can make people beautiful can be their attitude, confidence, positive thoughts about themselves, and feelings of happiness and joy that can be visible in their external appearance (such as a smile on their face).
Stop comparing your own physical appearance to that of other people. Try to appreciate different body types, including different weights and shapes, skin color, hairstyles, clothing styles, etc., which can help you learn to appreciate your own uniqueness
Make a list of your positive qualities, think about all the things you love about yourself. Are you smart, kind, creative, loyal, funny...? What would others say, what are your positive traits? Include your talents, skills, and accomplishments, and also remember what negative traits you don't have.
Stay active - focus on activities that you enjoy and do them because they improve your mood, not because you want to change your appearance. You should enjoy exercising and feel better after it, not see it as punishment.
Surround yourself with people who support you and want to see you healthy and happy. Avoid people who make you feel bad about yourself.
If you frequently have negative thoughts about your own physical appearance that are hard to overcome or notice behaviors such as overeating, starving, excessive mirror checking, or excessive weighing, you can always seek professional help (schools have professional services such as pedagogues, educational psychologists, psychologists, every health center has a Mental Health Center, but you can also seek help from a psychotherapist). Expert advice and support can help you develop a healthier attitude towards your own body and effective strategies for coping with difficulties.
High school is a period in life when young people discover their own identity and establish independence. How can self-respect and self-confidence be developed and maintained despite the hardships and challenges that students face in their school life?
Self-confidence and self-respect are two traits that are very difficult to develop and then maintain because they are constantly being tested. Several factors influence the formation of our own identity, and thus also our self-confidence and self-respect. One of the most important factors is our primary environment, family, parents. Parents teach us about the world by setting rules, giving us advice, establishing educational methods, but they are also an example or an ideal of a healthy relationship with oneself and one's environment. Support from parents from an early age and trust in a child's abilities are among the first, but sometimes the most important factors in developing self-confidence and self-esteem. It is very important for parents to teach their child to be assertive through their own examples, to encourage and empower the child to question the world around them, to analyse, and to encourage independence in the child. After childhood, the same cognitive schemas will continue to develop and evolve under the influence of the social environment and the situations in which the young person finds themselves. Each developmental stage has its own challenges and in some ways becomes a test of resilience, resourcefulness, autonomy, and one's own intellectual and emotional strengths. Each obstacle overcome and goal achieved is a way to strengthen and confirm self-confidence. Self-esteem is developed through one's own set of values and a healthy relationship with oneself. Not allowing others to make decisions for us, to exploit us, to manipulate us, or to engage in any kind of violence towards us is best achieved through assertive communication. Being assertive means being persistent, self-confident, self-aware, and self-assured. Lange and Jakubowski define assertiveness as "expressing thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a direct, honest, and socially appropriate manner while respecting others."
In the search for a social community, many fall into dangerous or toxic environments, which ultimately do more harm than good. How can young people who easily fall into such groups recognize inappropriate behavior and avoid future contact with people who make them uncomfortable?
There are many factors that contribute to individuals joining unhealthy social groups, such as the need for belonging, certain personality traits, lack of self-confidence, self-esteem, and assertiveness, as well as life situations in which an individual finds themselves in. To avoid becoming a part of such groups, it is important to identify unhealthy or socially unacceptable behavior in others and seek out people who share similar values, interests, goals, or beliefs.
Social media has a significant impact on the mental health of young people, particularly students in primary and secondary schools. The intentional design of social media platforms to keep users engaged for as long as possible by using human psychology, vulnerability, the need for social validation, and the fear of rejection has led to the development of addictive behavior patterns. Excessive scrolling through social media can lead to feelings of addiction, inadequacy, and dissatisfaction with one's own life. Some studies have even linked excessive social media use with symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, depression, anxiety, and sleep disorders.
Experts have expressed concern that children and young people spend too much time on their phones and miss out on other important social experiences, and thus, fail to develop social skills. Although online interactions can provide temporary relief from loneliness, they cannot replace face-to-face social interactions. Significant relationships that we build through verbal and nonverbal communication are a deep and lasting source of happiness.
The situation can become problematic if online communication takes precedence or if there is excessive passive consumption of content on social media. A like or an emoji cannot replace quality communication, and many young people can perceive likes as a public ranking system, which can lead to feelings of judgment or exclusion.
Building healthy habits in the use of social media is crucial to avoid potential risks to mental health. Using technology should be moderate and balanced with in-person socializing with family and friends.
In a time when we are all exposed to an incredible amount of information and different content on social media, more than ever, it is important to work with children and young people on developing critical thinking. It is important that children and young people know that not everything they see is reality, nor is it necessarily true or worth their attention.
How to avoid feeling lonely or isolated from the rest of the world?
For some individuals, making friends and joining social groups has become increasingly difficult, and many seek solace through social media, leading to superficial and short-lived relationships. While we typically seek friends through shared interests, that is often easier said than done. Here are a few suggestions:
If there are no other barriers, try engaging in sports activities, at least recreationally;
Join associations that share your interests, such as book clubs, craft groups, hiking clubs, humanitarian organizations, or youth associations;
Attend various courses, such as foreign language or computer classes, or learn to play a musical instrument.
Many students experience serious problems at home that they do not disclose even to those closest to them. How to deal with this type of abuse and how to seek help from others regarding it?
It is difficult to gather the courage to talk about what causes us uncomfortable feelings. Encouragement to seek help can come from friends, as well as the recognition of symptoms by teachers or the school's professional service. It is important to educate young people about the importance of caring for their mental health, as well as to direct them to where they can find appropriate help in their area.
Another important form of abuse is sexual abuse. In today's age of sexting and untrustworthy "online" romantic relationships, how can students recognize abusers and protect themselves from uncomfortable and traumatic situations caused by such relationships?
Sexting is a term that refers to sending sexually explicit messages via mobile phones or social media. In addition to written messages, it involves exchanging photos and video content and has gained popularity in the past period of (forced) social separation and lack of physical contact.
This rapidly growing trend is mainly widespread among young people, and most of them engage in it for the first time while still underage.
Such content can spread rapidly among young people, and the person can become the target of gossip, hateful comments, and abuse that can have negative consequences, and they can become a target of blackmail if the recipient of their messages decides to misuse such trusted content.
In recent times, a serious problem is the public posting of private explicit photos, videos, or other content (most commonly via various websites and social media) without the consent of the person who sent the content in confidence. Such behavior is common after a breakup when hurt feelings can lead to impulsive reactions without the person considering the consequences of their behavior. This can have serious psychological consequences for the victim, who may struggle with anxiety, depression, lack of trust, shaken self-esteem and self-confidence, and even post-traumatic stress disorder after the photos are posted.
It is important to keep in mind that we have the right to say no and set boundaries at any time. Any feeling of coercion and lack of understanding is a cause for concern and an indicator that we may need to question what kind of relationship we’re in.
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